Beyond the Worst
by ChoCedric
Summary: There was another reason why Remus was so reluctant to give his heart to Tonks. There was somebody before her, and the way that relationship ended and what happened afterwards split his heart in two. This is the story of that tragic day.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: This one, as well as Sirius's love story that I just posted, is also part of my novel-length fic, Love is Immortal, but I changed it up and decided to also post this as a one-shot, so that readers who don't want to read that longer story can just take a look at this. I hope you enjoy it and please review!

Beyond the Worst

By: ChoCedric

Julia Fields and Remus Lupin had now been dating for the past two years. Remus had never been so happy in his life; Julia was a kindred spirit, and their bond was something special.

However, Remus had not told Julia of his condition. He was terrified that she would abandon him. Even though the Marauders had shown him that not everyone would, he knew it would be very different if she found out, because the two were romantically involved. How would she adapt to dating a werewolf?

Little was Remus to know that that day would come, and that and the day that followed would be the worst days of his entire life.

It all started on a chilly March day, the day of the full moon. On the nights of the full moon when Julia wanted to meet him, he always told her he was having a "boys' night out." This was always his excuse for those certain nights. The boys would come to his house and keep him company as Animagi, and Remus couldn't express how grateful he was for their love and friendship. James was by now married to Lily, and Sirius and Peter were still single.

On that March day, Remus had woken up with a sinking feeling in his gut. He didn't know how he'd known it, but he'd had a feeling that something was going to go wrong that day. Over the past little while, he'd seen Julia looking at him strangely whenever he mentioned his "boys' nights out." She had always seemed to accept this reason of why they couldn't meet on certain days, but there was a niggling feeling in the back of his mind which told him he wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. The day after the full moon, he always looked a little beat up from the experience the night before. Even though James, Sirius, and Peter kept him from doing severe damage to himself, there were still times when the wolf got very angry and would cause him to wreak havoc upon himself. It would have been a lot worse if the Marauders weren't around, though.

Remus had got up in his little flat that he'd managed to buy at the end of his Hogwarts career. Unfortunately, his parents were now dead; they had been murdered by Voldemort, as had Julia's. He and his Death Eaters were extremely rampant then, killing many, many Muggles and wizards. The reign of terror was truly upon them. Remus and Julia had found tremendous comfort in each other through the tough times.

After he had shaved, showered, and eaten his breakfast, he heard a knock at the door. Julia had arranged to come to his flat to spend time with him.

When Remus answered the door, he knew instantly that something wasn't right. Julia looked him up and down like she did every month around this time, noticing his exhaustion and the circles under his eyes. "Hey, love," he greeted her quietly. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Julia answered in a monotone. "Listen, can we get together tonight instead? I have an appointment I have to go to this morning which I totally forgot about. I'm sorry to do this to you."

"I'm afraid I can't," Remus said apologetically. "The boys and I are doing our night out thing that we do every month. Would tomorrow be better?"

Julia walked into the flat, scowling. "Oh yeah," she said. "You and your friends, the Marauders. I have a few questions to ask you about your so-called friends, and you're going to answer them truthfully. Don't you dare even think about lying to me, Remus John Lupin."

Remus felt a terrible feeling grip his heart. What was Julia going to say? What was the matter with her this morning? He could tell from the look on her face that she'd hidden this from him for a long time.

The couple sat down on the couch in the living room. "What's wrong, love?" Remus asked with concern.

"What's wrong, love?" Julia mimicked, a disgusted look on her face. "Is that all you can say, Remus? You know very well what's wrong, and don't play pretend with me. I've caught on to what your friends do to you every month, and I don't understand why you let them keep doing it."

"Keep doing what?" asked Remus in surprise. He hadn't expected the conversation to go down this route. What did Julia think his friends did to him?

"Your little "boys' night out" adventures are not very innocent, are they?" asked Julia angrily. "Every single month, the day after your little adventures you look awfully beat up and exhausted, and the day of them, you almost look like you're dreading what's going to happen. When I see you afterwards, there are scratches all over your body, and you always give me some story about how you fell over. Well, you know what? Bullshit! Your friends hurt you, don't they? I always knew you four were up to something. Is it some kind of amusing game? What exactly do they do to you? Why don't you call the Aurors on them? Do they punch you? Hit you? Kick you? Are they drunk when they do it? Why do you forgive them each month?"

Remus looked at Julia, his mouth agape. She was completely wrong. He immediately knew what he had to do; he couldn't let her go on thinking this. His heart sank to the bottom of his chest as the terrible realization that he had to tell her the truth hit home. He couldn't let her think his friends were hurting him. After all that the Marauders had done for him, it was completely wrong to let her think this of them.

"Your friends were always bullies," Julia continued fiercely. "I still remember that day Potter and Black hung Severus Snape upside down. You're going to have to learn to stick up for yourself, Remus, and not let them walk all over you!"

"Listen," Remus pleaded, "my friends do not hurt me."

"Why should I believe you?" snapped Julia. "Why should I believe you when every single month you look like absolute shit after your little nights out?"

Remus's temper was always at its worst right before the full moon, and he felt it rise as each accusation against his friends spurted from Julia's mouth. "Listen to me, Julia," he snarled. "Do you want to know? Do you really want to know what happens to me every month? Because if you do, I'll tell you. I won't have you accusing my friends."

"What's your big secret then, Oh Submissive Lupin?" Julia mocked.

"I'm a bloody werewolf, that's what!" Remus cried out. "Are you happy now? I'm a werewolf!"

Julia's mouth gaped open in shock for a few moments. Her face went totally white, and her fists were clenched. "You're lying," she said quietly. "You're lying to me. How could you say something so horrible? How could you do this to me?"

"I'm not lying, Julia," Remus said softly. "I was bitten when I was five by Fenrir Greyback. I didn't think I'd be allowed to go to Hogwarts at all, but Professor Dumbledore was very understanding and he let me in. The Marauders know what I am, and they accepted me for it. I know that this is a huge blow to you, Julia, and I'm terribly sorry. I hope you can forgive me, and I know you probably won't want to be with me anymore after hearing this."

Remus looked at Julia's face again, and he could now tell that she knew he was telling the truth. Abruptly, she got up off the sofa, glaring at Remus with complete and utter hatred. The expression broke Remus's heart in two. "YOU ... YOU MONSTER!" she screamed, running as fast as she could to the front door. "HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU ARE A WEREWOLF? WEREWOLVES HURT AND KILL PEOPLE! YOU ... YOU SUPPORT YOU-KNOW-WHO, DON'T YOU? YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER MONSTER! WE'RE THROUGH, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" With that, she slammed the door.

Remus put his head in his hands, tears beginning to fall down his face. But why should he be surprised? Nearly everyone reacted this way to werewolves. Why should Julia be any different? The Marauders and Lily were exceptions to the rule, they were people Remus didn't think he'd meet in a lifetime. As well as the anger on Julia's face, he'd seen the abject terror there, and it had ripped him apart.

xxx

That evening, James, Sirius, and Peter walked into the basement of his flat, and they immediately knew that something had happened to Remus. James gently asked what the problem was, with Sirius threatening to hurt the person who had made him so upset.

"Julia," Remus choked out. "She found out."

"Found out what? Do you mean, about your lycanthropy?" Peter asked.

Remus nodded miserably. "I had to tell her, she was accusing you guys of hurting me every month," he sighed. "She noticed how beat up I looked after our little adventures."

"I take it she didn't react well?" James asked softly.

"She never wants to see me again," Remus said sadly.

"That little ..." Sirius started, his hands balling into fists. "That ... that bitch!"

"Sirius, please don't call her that," Remus begged. "You can't expect her to understand. Nearly everyone in the wizarding world hates werewolves, you can't expect her to know any better."

"Gods, I'm so sorry, Remy," said James, going over to his distraught friend and putting his arms around him. The lycanthrope's eyes filled with tears and before he could stop it, he was sobbing in James's arms. His cries of sorrow soon changed to cries of pain, though, and he rasped out, "Change! Transform, please!" as his body went rigid.

James immediately obeyed, as did Sirius and Peter. The wolf was very angry and upset that night, and it was the longest night the three had ever spent as Animagi.

xxx

The first thing Remus noticed when he opened his eyes was that his body hurt all over. James, Peter, and Sirius must have made sure he got into his bed after he'd transformed back into a human. After a few minutes of laying in his bed, he stretched his sore and stiff muscles and slowly got up. He removed some potions from his drawer that helped him with pain relief, and gratefully gulped them down.

All he wanted to do was sleep some more, but he'd been recommended by the Healers at St. Mungo's to get up and move around after his post-transformation sleep. It would only make things worse if he stayed in bed all day.

Feeling exhausted but wanting to let the other Marauders know that he was all right, he quietly walked to the living room. The crushing weight of what Julia had said to him was still on his heart, and it was making him feel extremely depressed. But wasn't this what his life was about? No woman would accept him, and he'd just have to deal with it. Why should he be upset? After all, he had the Marauders and Lily.

He was just about to go into the living room when his sensitive ears picked up a whispered conversation that the three Marauders were having. His sense of hearing was especially sharp because of his lycanthropy; he could hear things other people could not.

"Wormtail, we have to tell him," James was saying urgently. "But we have to break it to him gently. I can't believe this happened. It's the most terrible thing."

"But it'll break him, Prongs," Peter insisted. "Maybe it'll be best if he doesn't know at all."

"It'll blow up in our faces if we say nothing, he'll find out some other way," whispered Sirius. "And we've got to convince him it wasn't him who did it. After all, the three of us were with him all night in our Animagus forms and he didn't cause harm to anyone."

"We have to put this paper away so he doesn't see it before we tell him," said James. "I'm still horrified that this happened. If anything will put Remus into a depression, this will."

"Accio paper."

Remus's voice spoke the command loudly as he pointed his wand at the paper, and James, Sirius, and Peter ran over, trying to snatch it from him. But their friend's enormous werewolf strength allowed him to hold on to the paper with all his might, and none of them were able to take it from his hands.

Numbness and horror swept over Remus as he gazed at the headline. No, no, no, he thought, his entire body feeling like ice. This can't be happening. This has to be some kind of sick joke. There's no way that fate can do this. This is just too much.

For on the paper was written:

GIRL KILLED BY WEREWOLF

Last night, in a town not far from Hogsmeade, a girl's body was found. After much investigation, the body is said to be that of 18-year-old Julia Fields. She was barely able to be recognized, for she had been savagely mauled by a vicious werewolf. ...

Remus couldn't read anymore. The paper limply dropped from his hands and fell onto the carpet. James, Sirius, and Peter stood, transfixed, as Remus's entire face went white, and he muttered one word, one, single word.

"No."

And he fell to the floor, his entire world going black.


End file.
